Who am I?

My blog is called We are one because of the Song We are One. Yes I know it is the song from Lion King 2 Simba's Pride (by the way it is one of my favorite movies ever)but the meaning of the song really fits how I should see my life instead of just pitching a hissy fit. So when I feel like things have not gone how I planned You will probably read about it.

If you think my life is interesting enough then follow me. I am going to warn you that my life is not a big bowl of fruit loops. I tend to see it in the worst ways. I guess that is the meaning of a pessimist.


Now onto my first problem. Do you know the feeling you get when someone is cuddling to you and that feeling of protection and safeness (is that a word?)? How do you cope with losing that feeling? For over 12 years of my life I had not felt that feeling. To me I feel that when I am cuddling up to a person I really care about. Normally I was feeling that for the first time in 12 years with my boyfriend. Well recently we broke up and That feeling was the feeling I was looking for and was now taken away. I lost the feeling of being safe and protected. Now I know I am probably just a big baby but hey, I am 21 and I cannot feel safe in my life. I do not have that person who used to comfort me. We are still friends or at least trying to be friends but that feeling isn't as strong anymore knowing that the bond we had is lessened. He said he is always there for me and wants to comfort me, but the problem is that I need the physical contact of a close male friend (female friends hugs make me uncomfortable) and he is the only one I have and when I need it he is not able to be there. Now as a Boyfriend I think he would be willing to come get me and let me stay over there while I had my moment. To be honest I never really needed those comforting holds because I was with him. I knew I always had someone who could help me or comfort me when I needed it. I knew that I wasn't going to be spending all my nights alone. Now I feel like a burden when I want him to comfort me. I do not know what is expected as a friend. I do not know what a friend like he wants to be does. I have never had many friends in my life. I have been a loner. Doing what I needed to, to survive. Do I ask for my exboyfriend/friend to come get me, or do I just stay where I am and Cry. I do not know what a friend does. I do not know how I can get that feeling of being comforted and feeling safe.

Well that is it for now. I guess I will just update when I find an answer, or have something else I need answering. In future posts I will talk about What has happened in my past and how it affects my day to day life.